I decided to come off hiatus early because the allegations against Ben warrant a post.
First, I have no idea what really happened inside that Lake Tahoe hotel room in July 2008 where Ben stayed during a celebrity golf tournament.  The woman has accused Ben of assault while he stayed at Harrah’s where Ms. McNulty was employed. The suit,  for libel and slander, is filed against nine defendants, including Ben. The eight others are reportedly employees at Harrah’s whom the woman accuses of defaming her following the assault.
Ben’s lawyer, David Cornwell, said Ben denied the charge. “Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone,†Cornwell said in a statement.
Now, we might never know exactly what happened that night, Â But what we do know is this:
- Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes according to the U.S. Department of Justice.
- The United States has the highest rape numbers than any other country which publishes such statistics according to the National Women’s Study conducted by the National Center for Victims of Crime
- In the United States, more than 70 percent of all rapes go unreported.
That being said I’m going to urge all ladies to use some common sense.
You should not go home or to a hotel room with someone you just met. No matter how smart, how beautiful, how fantastic you are it takes time to get to know the attributes that go beyond initial attraction. Â In other words, if you do go, know up front that it is NOT tea and cookies you will be getting there. Â He knows this, so should you.
Just because the other person may be a celebrity of some sort, does not mean you know them. Â You don’t. The public persona isn’t always the private and real person. Â How do I know? I’m gonna use an Ocho Cinco quote here “Child Please.” I’m a public relations strategist. I can develop a public persona for any person, place, product or service. Â The attributes I highlight might not be ALL the characteristics, but those that appeal to the audience I am interested in reaching. Â Just because TO has a beautiful body, and he does, does not mean he’s a great husband or boyfriend. Â Keep it real ladies. Don’t get caught up in the celebrity. Â Not that all celebrities are secretly bad people, but just like any situation, take the time to get to know someone.
And my final point while standing on this soapbox: take note of those statistics again. Â Rape happens. By fabricating a story (and no, I do not know that anyone has specifically) you are making it more difficult for those who are raped every 2 minutes to make the case. Â Rape is serious, it’s power, it’s traumatic, it has life long effects. Don’t minimize this act because your feelings were hurt, because things didn’t go the way you think they should have or you just feel like it. Â If you have a case, report it. No man should ever rape you.
And again, don’t put yourself in situations that may lead to something you didn’t intend to happen.
Be smart. Be safe. Think before you act.
And Ben I really, really hope you are telling the truth.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I hope that the allegations are false as well…these situations are always tough, because only two people really know what happened in that room. But when there’s a chance a crime happened, it needs to be taken seriously.
I have lots of respect for you for this post, it was very fair.
You know I’m a big fan @steelergurl, but here is where I think you are off. As reported, the alleged victim was working at the hotel where Ben was staying, and he allegedly asked her to help with a non-functioning TV. We don’t know if any of this is true, but it does not sound, again as reported, like she went into his room with any thought that it was a come-on.
We’ll have to wait for it all to come out. I am a Duke grad, so I know exactly how first reporting and media out of control can make a story something it is not.
But at least so far, I don’t see a reason to blame the alleged victim here.
@dcborn61 I am not at all blaming the alleged victim. NOT AT ALL. My post is a warning to all ladies that this does happen and it’s serious. If it went down the way the woman said it did, then Ben is absolutely to blame and I will be first in line saying he should be punished appropriately.
My point is, as women, be careful, use common sense. The news is about Ben, but this posts was really to go beyond this particular incident. I see too many women not use common sense and put themselves in situations where things are bound to happen.
Very good post and I agree. Women get sucked in to the celebrity so easily but at the end of the day they are human beings no matter what. I dunno what happened either, but I’ll I’m saying is… woman have to think smarter. Personally I don’t really buy parts of the story and if she wasn’t an electrician why would she look at fixing a TV when that wasn’t her job?
As for Ben, if the sex was consensual like he said, he needs to think again before he starts with one night stands. hell, not just Ben, all athletes do. They are high profiled and people are always looking for the $$$ nowadays
Good post.
Ben’s story is interesting. Cause its the “innocent until proven guilty” angle vs. the “protect abused/raped women at all costs” angle. Certainly don’t want to blame the victim (although if someone raped me I would have filed a criminal complaint to try and get justice, not just a civil complaint to get money…and a year later) but some parts of the story have holes. On the other hand, its completely conceivable that Ben called the girl for a one night stand, she changed her mind mid-way through (which is every woman’s right) and things went too far. don’t know.
The key, like has already been said, is for athletes and women to be careful. Know your surroundings, know the situation, know what the other person wants. It can save your reputation as an athlete and save your dignity and your sense of well being if your a woman.